Ignite Your Health & Weight Loss Engine

In all the years of trying to shave the padding off of this body, I've been motivated by many things.  In my teens, peer pressure was the driving force, and, of course, boys.  The desire to look like everybody else, to wear clothes that were in style, or close too it in my size and feel comfortable in those clothes, was a huge motivator.  Fast forward a few years to college and the motivation was definitely to have a relationship, which I realize is a very petty reason.  But, I also started realizing at that point that I was beginning the grown up stage of my life, and I viewed being heavy to being immature, not taking life seriously enough to control myself.

In my dating years, or my 20's, weight loss was probably motivated by insecurity in who I was dating, that I would lose whoever it was if I didn't look a certain way.  Let me say, though, that even though I felt insecure, I never really got down to a healthy weight.  When I married my husband, we both married for reasons much deeper and real than looks, although we were and are very attracted to each other.  And with that security of a real love, I started to gain weight.  Then the motive to lose weight at that time was not strong at all, just an overall knowledge that I should weigh less to look better in clothes.

Then came the pregnancies...all 5 of them.  And I gave myself complete permission to satisfy any and all hunger and non hunger feelings I had.  And my motivation after each of those had been to try to get my old figure back, such as it was.  But I never really did get down completely, I held on to about 10 pounds each time, telling myself that I was close enough to what I was.  Well, 4 pregnancies and 40 pounds in was much different than where I was when I conceived my oldest.

Before I got pregnant this last time (#5), the motivation to lose weight had been to try to get regain some of physical fitness of my always overweight body, that had somehow slipped away, over only a few years.  I have to admit, I was always in denial about how much weight I really had to lose, I guess my body type allowed the weight to be carried well.  After all the weight gain, that was no longer the case, and it snuck up on me!  I guess I was busy with the kids.  What the hell is this?  I'm closing in on 40 and I don't look or feel anywhere close to what I used to.  This was never an issue before, and surprising enough, it was the "how I feel" part that was really getting to me, more than the fact that I now had more gray hair and wrinkles.  So I did start to lose weight and exercise, more frequently and kept up longer than ever before.  I guess this reason was a good motivator!  I was starting to feel better again physically, even though I had only lost a small percentage of weight.  The payoff this time was more tangible than any other time before.

So, obviously up until now, none of those other motivating factors were strong enough to do the trick.  And now I have a good tool in my weight loss belt knowing what is.

Here we are now, in the present, weight back up again, starting over further away from the goal.  Over the years, I have realized what the real reasons why the weight stayed on were, and I suggest everybody find out what their reasons are, as well.  I think at some point, I'll have to do some research about therapy and weight loss.  As for right now, doing some soul searching and looking carefully back to uncover the real reasons for why the weight came on, and stayed on, is important.  But after we know these reasons, we still have to do something with them, meaning we still have to do the work to get our weight where we want it to be.  This is where the driving forces, or motivators come in.

I have hit the proverbial wall with my latest motivator: fear!  I'm now 40, in the category of obese, and at risk of all kinds of health problems that could start happening any time now.  I've always prided myself with the longevity of my family, and their ability to hold onto their health well into old age.  And for some unknown reason, I assumed in my younger years that this history would propel me in the same direction with little effort on my part.  Well,  I realized quickly that these people spend their lives healthy, not heavy.  I could very possibly not inherit their health history.  Boy howdy, this fear is definitely a good motivator!  It goes down to the core of human instinct, survival.  I also feel very strongly about living my 50's 60's and seventies in health, not living them with the dependencies of doctors and medication.  I want to be older and well, not older and sick.


Now, many people have to hit rock bottom to get it in gear, however, I would prefer not to get to that point. But is fear a good ignitor for my weight loss engine?  In my opinion, yes.  But only for the short term, in the beginning of any weight loss or health efforts.  It's survival of the fittest, and having a real picture of how your lifestyle is affecting your body is extremely important.  However, fear should absolutely NOT be a long term motivator.  Fear is good at giving you a starting boost, but negative forces in our lives are never good. The things that continue to propel you forward should be positive, the payoffs to weighing less and eating right.

If everybody could dig up some good reason to start on the road to wellness that are really effective driving forces, and slowly transition them to stable, positive, tangible daily motivators,  then maybe we can lick this, once and for all!  I've heard too many people say how good health feels to say it's a bunch of hooey.  Maybe, just maybe, they're right!

Motion to Motivate

This time last year, things were going smoothly.  I was exercising many times a week, and had lost over 20 pounds.  I was well on my way to the finish line.  Well, that line turned out not to indicate the end of my weight struggles, but the beginning of new ones.  Namely, it was the line on a pregnancy test that sealed my weight fate.  In the perfect world of "fit pregnancies", beautiful women with beautiful baby bumps, a fifteen pound gain, nothing more.  Well,  I come from a long line of baby makers. I'm proud to be the mother of five, be a sister of 4 siblings and be the granddaughter of a remarkable woman who bore 13.  And we carry "big ".   So with that said,  family history and my own history foretold that I was again foreseeing a 9 month long, 50 pound setback.  

But I had high hopes for this pregnancy,  since I had been on such a good run with exercise and weight loss.  The pregnancy progressed quickly,  and something bizarre happened.  I gained the most during this pregnancy, and the why is still haunting me.  Now here I exist, gorgeous, sweet baby girl in arm (who, by the way, weighed 8lbs 8 oz,  not at all justifying a 60 pound gain) still holding 50 pounds of baby weight and 30 pounds of pre-baby weight.  Excuse me but what the hell happened?  And to wrap my head around getting on a weight loss regimen again was daunting at best.  It was just too huge to comprehend.  So, how did I get back on the wagon?  It didn't happen automatically, or easily.  There was a method, and here it is.

Now for the nuts and bolts of having the motivation to start and finish a weight loss program.  First, the important thing to know is that you do not get motivation, you have to build it! What does that mean? Building motivation means you must let the excitement of doing something great for yourself grow inside you.  And you can get this excitement by doing some specific things.  Let it get super exciting by going through the steps to growing motivation.

-Step 1: Remember what worked in the past.  Was it a particular weight loss program or a particular aspect of it?  Get out the little details of what worked for you and remember them in any way that is most natural and second nature.  Every program has nice little elements, why not take those elements for your own use.  For me, using loseit (www.loseit.com) worked really well.  I never liked tracking my food, but loseit is free and an excellent program.

-Step 2: Add something new that will work with where you are now in your life.  You might have a new job that affords you the ability to walk during lunch, a new salad bar in the cafeteria, or a great health food restaurant in the area.  Or if you're at home with the kids, revamping your shopping trip to include organic foods for the whole family in exchange for the pop tarts.  Be specific, ensure that it's easy to do, and make it reality!

-Step 3: Put 1 & 2 together.  Personalize your program to what works specifically for you and your situation.  You are the expert of exactly what you need to lose weight.  Write it down, make it pretty (or manly) make it YOURS!  

-Step 4: Remove any triggers for old behaviors.  **This I found to be very effective!**  Control your environment. OK, what does that mean?  We hear those words all over the place but what is it really talking about? 

•  It means removing food network from your TV watching. 
•  It means inundating yourself with TV that will motivate you, in my case, it just happened to be the start of the Olympics.  So, of course, those hardbodies are going to motivate anybody into getting into shape and getting into a program.  The timing was good, but the key is to build the motivation with inspiration.  The fact that I like watching the Olympics was a definite bonus.
• It means reading Shape magazine instead of Gourmet. 
• It means listening to inspiring podcasts, like Jillian Michaels, or reading success stories of others who have conquered the weight.  Weight Watchers has a facebook page that posts success stories. 
• It means joining or starting something to be near people on the same road, like this blog, a walking club, or simply a buddy for awesome support.  
• Then the obvious, it means surrounding yourself with great food.

-Step 5: Start using "I do" and "I don't" statements, even if they're not wholly true yet.   Start thinking and making statements that are saying how you want to be as if you're already there.  These are the ones I use, "I don't eat fast food", " I love exercise, it feels really good", "I don't eat between meals" " I drink mainly water" "I don't eat after 7:00"  Tackle those challenges by just saying to yourself and out loud how you want to think, and eventully those statements will become real.  My big one it "I don't eat by myself".  I'm a closet eater, I eat mostly when I'm alone, because I have a feeling of shame associated with how I eat.  These statements are not supposed to sound like things you're trying to convince yourself of, they sound like things you're already decided about.  Equate your statements to the other statements you make in life, like "I don't smoke", with that much decisiveness.  They are very empowering statements.  Start making these statements today!  Today, I will say "I don't eat full fat ice cream", when I'm picking it out at the store later.  Internally, I'm proud to be part of the group of people that don't eat full fat ice cream. I actually want to try making my own, so I have control over ingredients. "Automatic Ice Cream Maker (Blueberry)" (Google Affiliate Ad)    But I digress.

Some of these steps won't last for a long time, but some will.  The key for right now is to build your motivation to grab your health in both hands and take back control.  When is right now, though?  This important, too.  Right now is when you know you're ready, not when someone tells you it's time.  Build the motivation to carry you through the first leg of the journey. 

Reboot...

So, a little introduction. I am Beth Spellacy, a chaos manager, which means I am a stay at home mom of 5 beautiful children, and manage the chaos that ensues within it. And no, this is not why I have a weight problem, although it's a darn good reason. I mean, it's a symptom of the real reason. The why's of my initial weight gain are definitely significant, but I will address that whole can of worms in another post, right now I want to start with where I am today. The past is gone, and the future hasn't happened yet, so all we really have is now, anyway.

The idea of a rebooting my efforts in conquering this weight problem is very motivating...and extremely annoying! That I am again embarking arm in arm with this very old friend of mine is truly unbelievable, but not because the company is bad. Let's face it, I've known this side of myself for 25 years now, so you could say I know her pretty damn well, and she's the side that cares about me. So why wouldn't I want to be around her, right?

I hate the concept of "reinventing" myself, which isn't an accurate description anyway. I'm still me, but having reached the age of 40, I, therefore, have been practically slapped with the very real fact that I have spent more of my life dieting than not. So what I know about this is, let's say, A LOT! My knowledge on nutrition, exercise and my awareness of the psychology related to keeping my excess weight has been accumulating since I was 15. I never tried fad diets, but usually fell to exercise and eating less and trying to eat better.

I can't deny that living a healthier lifestyle has been far more satisfying, meaning, it feels better. If you've ever tried eating well and exercising, even for a short amount of time, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that feeling. Why wouldn't I want to keep doing something that feels good? Because, yes, truly, food does feel good, too, and it's much easier to do, isn't it? Am I inherently lazy? Maybe, or maybe there's just so much tied into eating that my mind just can't deal with it, so actually eating is the much easier thing to do, emotionally. Whether going the health road is the easy road or the hard road, I haven't decided, but it is the much more preferred road. Why? Because it gives to me so much more than it takes from me. So I choose that road. And I'm going to want company, because misery loves company! Just kidding, I want company because when we share knowledge and experience, we have so many more tools in our tool belt to fix things that break or are broken.

So, I am going to start my efforts again in the concentration of grasping this all important health. I have been through 5 pregnancies, all of which have left weight on me. It's time to keep the memories of those in my mind and not on my body.

Now, I want to gain support from others and offer support to those who are struggling the same way, since I am certain this is how it must be done to finally see success and have it be permanent. So please subscribe and join me this one, last time.


Sneak peak for next post: How I gained the motivation to start again.